Left-Hand Path: An Antinomic Path?
Ever since I started on the left-hand path or rather since I took my first initiation on the Draconian Path and I was forming, the concept that the path is antinomic and solitary was something recurring, the same happens today. Back then, I must say, that I did not fully understand what this was referring to. Was it perhaps an attitude or posture that one should take? At first I believed that, it was a position in which one should believe and that I have repeated like a parrot for a long time. But, my first real antinomical revelation, I had while crossing my third initiation in the Qlipha Samael. I think it was the hardest initiation I went through, it affected me both internally and in my material world.
I asked myself a thousand times: is this real? is it worth following this path? gods are real or are they a mere product of my imagination, which only serves to escape reality? Over the years, I managed to solve all these doubts and answer all these questions. And the answer, dear readers, is a mixture of all.
Is it real? Yes, it is to the extent that it works for one, that in one it causes changes. Are the gods real? Well, in my experience they are, they are not mere imaginary beings products of very active imagination, they are as real as I am or like you who are reading this. Is this path for me? A very complex question to answer, but let’s see if it is understood, the path cannot be measured in terms of utility, although many people do, the path is a spiritual, intimate, unique path, a path that allows us to find our inner divinity. But seeking self-deification does not mean going around the world acting like idiots, saying that such a god told me such a thing and I put it on «Facebook» or the gods say such another thing will happen. No, we cannot become self-proclaimed prophets, this is a very sad and very pathetic attitude.
When on the path it is said that a deity inspired us to write such a ritual or showed us a sigil it is something personal, intimate, that you can try and see how it works and in any case, we can share with other people if we wish, or we think it is the right thing to do, but do a «viral» sigil or publicly expose a ritual with a personal sigil so that people charge it with their vital substance (blood) and then use that energy for personal purposes, sadly, is something very disgusting. On the other hand, feeling that you are special and having self-confidence is not a bad thing at all, I think that those of us who are lucky or willing to do what we like in one way or another are lucky people.
Sadly or not, this path is not for everyone, it is for a few and beware, do not misunderstand me, I am not saying that this is an elite, it is for few because it is a very rare, complex form of spirituality that confronts us with our worst baseness, the worst things that a human being has, this path takes out and forces us to confront them, these are the ordeals that often should face when we travel through the different Qlipoth of the Tree of the Night. This is why many try it but few are those who succeed. Because that which is dark, is not outside of us, lives with us all the time, is within us, and in psychological terms, it is called Shadow. The shadow is the repressed, the taboos, the darkness itself denied and kept deep in the psyche. But if we don’t know ourselves, how can we become our divinity? Despite what many believe, the path is an eternal balance, between light and darkness, not between good and evil, but between light and darkness, represented by our unconscious (darkness) and our conscious (light), this led to a microcosmic plane, not taken to a subtle or spiritual plane.
Perhaps there is the desire of many to follow an alternative spiritual path, outside of the orthodox religions, to all of you I recommend reading a lot, books are the best friends of all aspiring initiation. If you don’t read first, you don’t know what there is, and I can assure you that there are thousands and thousands of ways that can allow us to lead a full and magical spirituality. Perhaps you are feeling an internal call to follow a form of pagan spirituality, but it does not necessarily have to be this path or perhaps it is, but before making a decision you have to know what there is, what the different paths have to offer. A sincere search and an open mind are two fundamental qualities to follow any pagan path. In this and as the saying goes, each little teacher with his little book, that is, there are no exact formulas, there are no absolute truths, nor unshakable dogmas because the path is personal, unique for each initiate, this is a personal journey, with experiences unique and unrepeatable and that is what is so wonderful about this.
It is very common to find teachers, experienced people to guide us and tell us what to do, and this has its advantages and disadvantages. We go first for the positive, the advantages first: when we have serious and experienced people, it helps us a lot because we already have the baggage of the other, which allows us to have everything a little more resolved, but in reality, this is also a myth, because the other does not have everything resolved, he has his own unique and personal experience, but not the total or absolute truth as many want us to believe. On the other hand, there is a human being just like you or me, who has to work to eat every day and do all those things that we all do, I think I am clear. The disadvantage, either of a group or teacher, is that first, we have to lead with the egos of the other, generally and I think that this happens in 99% of cases, and those who have gone through this experience will know how to understand me, the another has power, decides what to do, when, how, with what formulas, if something is «right» or «wrong». Gentlemen, I am sorry to tell you that this is pure ego, no more no less. Generally, the people who lead a group are a person with great charisma, without charisma, I cannot convince anyone and one tends to see the other as a teacher, full of knowledge that one day he will bequeath us, sadly it does not happen, nobody gives anything for nothing, there always has to be a revenue involved, in some cases it is money, which I do not see wrong because one can decide to charge for their knowledge, but when it is not, what do you think happens? The other does it because he is a good person who simply wants to give away his knowledge? well no. I am going to tell you something, the old magicians and witches already know this, but around there many of those who start do not and it is good that they find out. Suppose I form a group, a circle to share and help people to begin with the path, but I do not charge, because I want more people to join the practices, and I do it in such a way that it is as massive as possible, something relatively simple with the use of the Internet, many will believe that I am a generous and good person, no, no, something I will always get in return. To achieve this, if I am an advanced magician on the path, I will contact and make some dealings with one or more deities/gods, this has to do with an exchange, they give me some things and I give them certain offerings in return. But what offerings? Simple, the energy of the people who are members of my group. How I do this? simple, through systematic and respectful rituals, once a month, involving the use of the participants’ blood. Where do I put this blood? very simple, in the sigil that this circle represents. So simple and so elemental. This is a form of astral vampirism, widely used over the years, and which the magicians of chaos often refer to as «infected egregor».
Now, you may be wondering, why Daemon Barzai says all this? because I’m tired of seeing how people screw up their lives, because of some motherfuckers, sorry for the expression, are evangelizing and making believe that everyone is fit for the path, giving space to very embarrassing people who believe that they have wings on their backs or that they are vampires who have to take blood and that Lilith is giving them the instructions.
I love the path, it is my passion, my life, I write about this because I like to write, I like to be read to, I like people to know and respect me and I want to return something in return. If you are one of those who want to follow the path, there are wonderful books that can help you, try the Michael Kelly books, they are great and translated into different languages. You want to know about Dark Kabbalah, read Thomas Karlsson, read Linda Falorio, or Kenneth Grant. This is an individual, personal path that requires a lot of work, almost daily, but before you get on the path, learn the basics of magic, the rest are inspired by the Gods.
Thank you for reading.
Daemon Barzai